Wondering

Misery seeps in between the

Coldness of my heart

Feeling the sting of bitterness

Wondering

Sowing loneliness, reaping aching needs

Adrift on the sea of vengeance

Suffering the what ifs

Living with the how comes

Wondering

Crying out in the distance

My voice echoes back

to deaf ears

Wondering

Vision distorted by tears

Clarity fogged in somewhere

Between the sound of thunder

And the howling of the wind

Wondering

Inside a broken vessel

Thrown away to live

A life filled with soft whispers of ghosts

That come to me in

Waken moments of

Wondering

Is this my heaven?

Or is this my hell

When will the sun glow?

Upon my face

Wondering

Darkness, my lover

 Protects me, keeps me safe

Wrapped in its arms

Shelters me from the pain

Wondering

 

Flawed

We’re both flawed diamonds in rough formation

Maybe that’s our connection

Without a microscope our imperfections are not Visible

Seen with the naked eye

Defects from birth created in the womb

Blemished DNA

Errors we’re afraid to acknowledge

Doing so might give validation to what others see

Our failings, we point fingers at one another

Shifting the blame

We’re flawed the damaged reflection of

Two individuals on a collision course to disaster

Enabler of addictions

Crippled by no intervention

The end of the road is death

A black rose lay to rest on cold concrete

All flaws seep back into the earth

She

She sat alone a drink in her hand thinking about all her failed relationships

She took a long sip leaning back in her seat

Laughter bubbled inside of her as She thought of one of her lovers

Good in bed, but couldn’t keep a job; damn She was missing his good lovin

Not his dead beat ass

Another memory floated through her mind of a man so beautiful but his soul

Was pure black; use to beat her for the sheer delight of hearing her beg and scream

She thanked god for letting her escape with her life intact still the scars remain

And the screams She still hears in her head, but She survived

Music played low in the background smoke filled the lounge and She added her own

Cigarette smoke to the mix

Waiter walked by She halted his steps ordering another Jack Daniels on the rocks

To many nights spent alone, to many sad songs played over in her mind

Why was She sitting here adding and subtracting mistakes and consequences?

One tear slid down her over made-up cheek to be chased by another and another

The song became louder inside her mind a song She heard too often

Rhythm of the sound surrounded her, the beat thumping making her temples

Pulse in and out

She tried to put the glass to her lips her hand shook with its attempt to connect

Liquor splashed over the rim running down her finger tips

She licked the drops mixed in with her now flowing tears

The looks and stares She received did nothing to combat the war that was going on

Inside her as She reflected all her failed relationships

Some She truly loved, there were a few just for sex, a couple for their outward

Beauty, they lacked beauty on the inside, one or two She could have married

Now the wrinkles were a threat to her beauty

Her body has lost that voluptuousness that drove men wild

She was tired and defeated in her own self pity

Letting life beat her as that man did touched her soul and robbed

Her of loving herself more than She could love any man

Cigarette burned to the end She reached down and put it

Out, took the last swig of her drink

She stood on wobbling legs and staggered to the door

Reached for the handle to let herself out

A hand reached from behind her stopping her before She

Could leave She turned to look at who prevented

 Her from disappearing into the night

The Beat Goes On....

The Beat Goes On……

See the world through the vacant eyes, concave expressions

 People from all walks of life but here there is no distinction

Ethnicity, culture, race; rich, poor, poor, rich

Some trying to find their way, others the way they’ve

Found have left them in this position

Some smiled, most didn’t

A few laughed, some joked to pass the time begging to retain some dignity

At the mercy of system that had no soul

Waiting to be helped; for someone to care for the plight they’re in

The beat goes on……

Voices drowned out loneliness, hopelessness, being forgotten

Time slowly crept on every now and then a glance at the clock

Revealed a second had past

The beat goes on…….

This is everyday life, soldiers wagging war to survive, just to live to tell the tale

In world full of plenty, but they are not getting any of the fruit

That’s ripen and ready for harvest

Instead their stomach growled reminding them why

They’re in this place of hell

The beat goes on…….

Robots going through the motion, no emotions

Numb to feelings eyes looked on seeing nothing focused on a

Number to be called, listening carefully for a name to be shouted

Out over a PA system that crackled and popped to be heard over the

Raised tones angered for the lack of respect

The beat goes on…….

I heard some praying, most were cussing their fate

A few “why me’s”, could be heard, an old woman sat in a corner

 Singing broken tunes to match broken hearts and displaced roots,

 Only music I heard in my head was a

 Song my momma used to sang, hoping the tune would keep me fed

And the demons in their bed

The beat goes on……..

A child looked up to his mother; she smiled down at him tears in her eyes

As she held onto the hand of her baby girl rubbing her swollen belly

Hunger rumbled in my soul, malnutrition ravaged my bones as I sat too

Becoming one of them

The beat goes on and on and on……..

Poetry Is My Husband

Connubial to words that come alive

Keeps me fulfilled never wanting

Strong dialect sometimes gives way to

 Passionate tongue

Creating a haven with each stroke of a pen

And my refuge from storms of life I keep within

Gives me release to express who I am

At times I am lost

Through spoken words I channel peace

 Finding myself

In all its devotion, I am in no way

Left feeling unloved

With every verse it is akin to making love

Intertwined in rhythms of emotions

Conjugal souls’ truss by lexis

Together we awaken desires

Fulfill dreams

Create an aura of mystery

Spellbound woven around destiny

Yours and mine

Forever we are one and the same

Infinity, infinitely wisdom

To make laughter sound in the

Heart instead of sorrow

 But sorrows glutinous hunger

Is a montage of delectable

Roseate our ingenuity cannot ignore

Bring release to a tormented soul

Kismet is our spirit my, poetry Husband

He is the color of the rainbow

Freedom of expression

Creation born to my imagination

 I take you as my inspiration to

 Give me insight and empathy to write, explore

Unearth buried feelings, delve into the psyche

Analyze the subconscious discover

 Hidden metaphors

And similes this we shall carry out

Until death we do part,

I’ll take you with me to the grave

Behind we will leave a legacy

 A perfect marriage of poetry

Poetry is my Husband

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sexual Combustion

I’m ready as I lay here

Waiting for you

To come into the room

My body is pulsating anticipating

What’s about to take place

The door slowly opens

You stand there, taking in my

Nakedness

 I read the message in your eyes

You can’t hide the desire

Or disguise your hunger

Your appetite matches mine

Hungry for you

Craving you

Longing for you to possess

Let’s do this right

Don’t be gentle make love to me all night

Soft caress wet kisses

Put it on me now don’t give it to me weak

Make my body scream out

In pain and pleasure

Bodies sweaty sliding up and down

Come into me no don’t take it easy

Give it to me like you want me to

Give it back to you dirty, naughty, and nasty

That’s it baby right there

Let your fingers dance all over my body

Now your turn as I take you into my hands

How does that feel

Like it when I stroke you there

How about here

Roll over

Let me ride you into the sunset

Faster, faster, don’t stop

I cry out your name

What’s my name baby?

Say it to me now

Holler, scream, thrashing about

Damn this is pure heaven

Now take me to hell

Bring me back to heaven

Angels voice harmonize

To our love making

Hearts thumping matching the

Rhythm of the bed whining

From the pressure we’re putting

On it

Had enough if not

I won’t stop

We can do this all night long

Moaning, swearing, goddamn it this is good

No! More to ecstasy satisfying

You feed my hunger, I quench

Your thirst

Move it this way now find

My spot oh you’re so good

No, you’re goddamn hot

Come on baby come onnnnnn………

Explosion bodies burst into flames

Bed is gone smoke and ashes

Fly around the room

Sexual combustion

As I Sleep

As I Dream

Let’s meet tonight baby in my dreams where together we can

Drift amongst the clouds fly up to heaven and

 Party with the angels stay there for a while

 Slowly we’ll drift back down to earth

Where we’ll run through the lilies of the field

 After a while when we can no longer breathe we’ll lay down and

Make sweet love

I cry out your name

You sing mine

Together caught up in delicious rapture

Lets meet in my dreams while I sleep, I’m awake

With you here all the pain doesn’t exist

You’re perfect not a defect

And I’m your princess, cherished and not defamed

Everything is perfect in this reverie there’s no hate

No cruel words form or spoken

All hurt is erased

Or mistakes are washed away

 Only you, me and this ideal setting

A place in my dream