Missing Something

I’m missing him and I don’t want to be having these feelings

I’m missing him despite the shit he put me through

No I won’t go back I don’t believe in taking steps backwards

I just want this damn longing to stop

Cut my heart out and place it on the ground

To be stomped on all over again damn him

and I am damned for thinking of him

I’m missing him, gotta get that poison out of my system

How do I do it what’s going to erase his face, his touch

The way we made love

I hear a song and suddenly I’m reliving memories of him

I’m insane I have to be for these feelings to be in control of me

No I won’t go back I don’t believe in taking steps backwards

I’m missing him and I hate myself for this weakness

I need to purge him from my soul

Is he facing this agony too?

Or is out of sight out of mind

I’m missing him but not for long

Too Late

Are you missing me?

Do you miss the sound of my voice?

The perfume I use to wear

 Late at night do you run your hand across?

 The empty side of the bed where my

 Body once laid close next to yours

Am I haunting your dreams while you’re awake?

Can you still see the look?

In my eyes when you looked my

Way but didn’t say goodbye

Walked away from a God given treasure

Yes, it’s too late

I’m a distant memory

It will never be too late

I’ll make her mine again

He cried silent tears realizing

The mistake he made

Head bowed in defeat

Wishing he could take back everything

Cruel words spoken in ignorance

Her perfumed lingered in the air

Made him feel lesser than a dog

Treating her with such disregard

Yes he was the fool to throw away

His God given treasure

Yes, it’s too late

I’m a distant memory

It will never be too late

I’ll make her mine again

I gave you my heart and soul

Stood by you

Loved you unconditionally

Bathe you with my tears

Dried you my concern

And in the end you said

Nothing, not even thanks

Yes, it’s too late

I’m a distant memory

It will never be too late

I’ll make her mine again

He couldn’t give his heart

He didn’t possess one

She tried to teach him the meaning of love

He mistook it for a weakness

It was his foolish pride that

Kept him from acknowledging her

Yes, it’s too late

I’m a distant memory

It will never be too late

I’ll make her mine again

Beautiful Liar

Blinded to the truth

Eclipsed behind a disguise

Angelic persona

Utilize to hide

Transform to devil

Ignorant of its evil

Felicity taken away

Umbrage building to a crescendo

Lulling into false security

Loathe an existence

Irrational behavior

Autonomous narcissistic

Reflect deceptive beauty of

          Beautiful Liar

Make Believe

It’s getting harder

 to keep my feelings hidden

Outside I smile, 

inside I’m dying, Pretend

Deaf tears I cry, 

each intake of breath 

I’m wishing

were my last, Pretend

Why is it that I’ve fallen

 and I look for rest to siege

Me in its arms, Pretend

I wear a mask no

 one can penetrate

My eyes are soulless, Pretend

To match a spirit held in an

Arroyo deserted 

and forgotten, Pretend

I hear words spoken 

saying never give in

Yet there said 

in a whisper, Pretend 

Fool to think my 

feelings are put first

A lie I’m told to keep

 me satisfied, Pretend

Stand strong 

stand alone, Pretend

On a ledge I totter, 

the fall forever

To eternity, Pretend

Hoodwink

who are you to have the world so fooled

buying into your lies

damn the disguise

you wear it so well a real cool veil

no one even bothers to stop

and take a closer look

your smile so serene

in your hand you bleed the blood

of those you've

fooled, tricked, bamboozled

who are you to have the world so fooled

the universe rocks with your deception

the words you speak are super sleek and slimy

and damn grimy and

yet you get away with

stepping on feelings wrapping your lies

so skillful in honey

the image portrayed have those believing you're a god

when you're a fraud

the truth will be revealed and you'll be left

standing in an empty field surrounded

by those you hurt ready to give back justice

well deserved

Decisions

Doughty choices not committal to the grave

Epoch of emotions ageless as time

Contagion of despair touches us all

Idiom of words not making sense

Sublime affirmation trusting in paroxysm of untruths

Immersed in making sense out of nothing

Opulent opinion of one’s self   

Nonentity thoughts divulge ignorance

Surrealistic end to painful

DECISIONS

Running Away To Something

Tears falling I don’t even know why

All the pain you caused me and here

I sit crying because of something lost

Broken heart will heal

Soul comforted

Spirit rejoined

In all that’s transpired I still question why

If your love for me was real than why

Am I soaked in tears?

Washing my body clean of

Any memories of you

If it was that easy

What’s going to erased them from

My mind

Running away, running to something

Believing there is a future where

I can survive without you

Maybe the memories will never

Be completely exorcised